migration day

iftitah's 2009 resolution

6. change my ringtone (noooo!!! i love you discovery channel! i love u!)

5. do something new (err?!)

4. go vacation (sipadan? bali? infinite-loop?)

3. meet 'crazy' people & tell them how 'crazy' they are (obama? steve jobs? tyler durden?)

2. get a life (get married?! hurm..)

1. be a hero (hiro nakamura?)

0. change the world


iftitah's wishlist for 2009 (from yang almost impossible ke yang most probable)


6. a full time gf who can stand & understand me (anyone?!)

5. nikon d90 + nikkor 50mm f1.8d + crumpler (huu..berangan!!)

4. laptop baru + crumpler salary sacrifice (isk..)

3. jersi meriambuluh next season (kalau lawa.. then beli tak menang, wachaaa!!)

2. beanbags extra large (sunat yg dituntut)

1. jumbo pixel led alarm clock from homeloo.com (wajib.. yeah!!)

0. tshirt "there's no place like 127.0.0.1" from thinkgeek.com (of course!!!)


2008 resolution completed: 1/0 (the best score ever!)

bye 2008, it was nice knowing you.

happy migration day!

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iftitah

"your name is very hard to pronounce" - a chinese friend

"mesti awak tau doa Iftitah kan?! sila baca.." - pk hem (form 4, SMKBS)

"kamu tengok tak Kasih Iftitah?" - amil zakat (masjid sitiawan, raya tahun lepas)

i must admit, i have a really unique name. since i was a kid my friends selalu kata "nama ko cam perempuan la".

even when i grew up, people still ask, "are you local?" ..maybe they never heard of it before.

actually i don't really take serious of what people say, in fact, sometimes i explained to them the meaning of my name (for those yg interested la).

when i was young, i've always wonder why my parents gave me this name. not that i regret having the name, just that i want to know the reasons they picked this name instead of any other common name.

"Iftitah?! Pembukaan. Patut la duduk dekat-dekat pintu" - uztat kmpk (time sesi suai-kenal, nama sorang-sorang dia translate)

there.. pembukaan . the first. the beginning.

but that was the translation. of course i was the first child of my parents, but was that the only reason?!

i didn't dare to ask my parents direct maybe because of respect towards them.

"ibu abah ko bagi nama-nama yang First-first je tuk anak-anak dia", my aunt start bercerita.

"they want you guys to be the best, top-of-the-list, #1.. that's why they named you after the first prayer of solat.."

"that was also the reason why they named ur brothers n sis, 'Aliff', 'Adam' and 'Aishah'", she finishes.

now i realized how big their love for their childrens.

thank you mom & dad. love u guys. i'm proud of my name.

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harimau berantai

melayu & silat memang tak dapat dipisahkan. mungkin sebab its the traditonal martial art peningalan nenek moyang zaman hang tuah, kalau tak silap.

i never learn silat, or any other martial arts, tapi suka jugak dengar-dengar pasal teknik-teknik especially yang batin-batin. cekak harimau la, harimau berantai la, ntah macam-macam lagi.

"tak payah la masuk silat. ngarut!", told my mom yang agak modern. that's why i never join kot.

one time bila balik kampung, i had some conversation with my grandfather;

"kenapa orang takut harimau berantai?", tanya dia

"mmm.. ntah?!", jawab aku interested to know the real answer.

"buat apa nak takut harimau yang berantai? ..kan dia tak boleh lari", gelak my grandfather.

seriously, i felt i was cheaply taken. dem.

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meriambuluh vs aston villa (2-2)

arsenaline rush; anger, excitement, satisfactions & frustations experienced by a gooner when he watched Arsenal match.

symptoms: abnormal heartbeat, sick, dizzy, migrain;sort of adrenaline rush.

"bagai nak luruh jantung saya tengok kamu main macam haram.. arsenaline rush betul!"

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damn-rich club

few months back i ran through rich list in fortune 500 site. i noticed something, some of them got rich because of legacy, and some of them were self-made. it made me wonder;

kalau la diorang ni ada club, masa gathering mesti ada some of them yang segan nak datang.

it's not because of 'i got 10 billions more than you', it's because do they really deserve what they own.

of course the one yang self-made mesti bangga (and i feel the should) sebab diorang work very hard to own their place in the list.

tapi yang legacy?

"saya kaya sebab bapak saya."

rasa-rasa ayat di-atas cam some sort of loser statement tak compare ngan ayat ni;

"i build my empire and i own it!"

tapi ramai je yang bangga joli-joli dengan duit hasil peninggalan orang.

patut la si-Hilton tanak kasi duit kat Paris, buat malu billionaire club je.

"being the richest man in the cemetery doesn't matter to me.. going to bed at night saying i've done something wonderful.. that's what matter to me" - steve jobs

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totally free wifi (bukan 'steal this wifi')

scenario a:
free wifi in hotel (usually lobby).
scenario b:
free wifi in mcd

ada beza ke? dua-dua free. open pada semua manusia mahupun bot. speed, lebih kurang, manade orang yg sanggup lepak mcd or hotel lobby semata-mata nak download movie or p0rn.

the differences: the customer & the service.

kenapa?
a-service down kat hotel mesti service provider/hotel kena maki even baru 1minit down. time ni la nak tengok support lari-lari pegi reboot AP/server dan sebagainya.

b-service down kat mcd xde pulak orang gi counter or jumpa manager tuk complain. kejap ni wifi down tunggu la ntah bila nak up kan balik.

reasons:
1. hotel guest/customer biasanya orang-orang business. diorang ni educated, bigshot, semua diorang betul;orang lain salah. they stick to the principle 'the customer is al! ways right;and i'm the customer'.

"fuck it!! i just want to send my email!", kata mereka.

2. customer mcd pulak banyak budak-budak, student, guna wifi surfing facebook, IM. diorang xkenal lagi dunia, diorang takut nak bersuara. diorang xtau benda free pun kita boleh complain.

but.. bukan semua macam tu. i do feel they want to shout 'your service suckssss!!!!!' but they dont know whom they should say it to.

"saya cashier je bang", kata orang mcd.

seriously,
to service provider, take care of your service.
to customer, jangan takut complain, know ur rights.

p/s: sapa la yg provide wifi kat mcd bangsar?! network anda down, 8-10 user affected. sila check SLA anda.

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steal this wi-fi!

sila tolong lock wifi anda dengan wep/wpa key jika tanak orang lain
guna bandwidth anda yang tak seberapa.

or.. if u are generous enough to give it for free

maybe u can put ur wireless ssid as:
1. makanfree
2. no-torrent-plz
3. 1mbps-tak-luak
4. sponsoredbyshahril
5. steal this wifi

streamyx tu dah memang slow, but make sure its because of streamyx,
not some people downloading p0rn from ur free network.

please.. do understand it before buying anything from lowyat. ni tak,
bangla lowyat tu cakap best, terus nak beli. modem sekarang all in
one. wireless enable by default.

tapi kalau anda-anda bermurah hati, apa salahnya. try sikit trick
di-atas so at least it will bring smiles to those who want to steal ur
bandwidth.

yg-boring-dengar-network-problem,
iftitah

ps: di-post dari wifi curi ber-ssid 'linksys'.

meriambuluh news: (c)fabregas out ..4 bulan

"Saya minta maaf kepada semua fan, me-member, teman seperjuangan dan manager kerana terpaksa mengambil cuti xmas & new year awal selama 4 bulan." - Cesc Fabregas, Captain.

"Although we are losing Cesc, saya yakin Diaby mampu fill-up the empty spaces. Don't forget that we still have some other kids like Willshire and Ramsey.. If I have too, saya akan beli Andrei Arshavin but that depends." - Arsene Wenger, Manager.

"Walaupun sedih, kami still look on the brighter side.. At least dia boleh join kami main poker masa xmas eve dan kat treatment room." - Eduardo & Rosicky, yang still injured.

"Cepat-cepat sembuh Captain Cesc. Cuti-cuti tu datang la sini. Heh." - Iftitah, MeriamBuluhFC

* 4 bulan fabregas injured

i envy people who work outdoors today

it's a nice sunny weather outside. what more can i say?


*taken from xkcd - interesting life

meriambuluh vs liverfool

"Hang kampung mana?"

Sunyi sepi tanpa jawapan.

"Wat malu kampung ja.. Hang tau dak?!"

Player-player semua tunduk macam nak nangis. (c)Fabregas tidak kelihatan. Pegi scan kaki kot.

"Aku habaq lagu ni hangpa tanak dengaq!!.. Lagu mana lagi hangpa nak ikut?"

Pat Rice cepat-cepat sorok iPod, takut kena maki.

Wenger geleng kepala. Panas hatinya. Gol sebijik pun takleh nak defend. Bahlol. Mau dilempangnya Gallas sebab tak dengar kata.

Raut wajah Mourinho gelak guling-guling atas lantai terbayang di kepala Wenger, sesal bet semalam kalau tau jadi camni. Mesti mati kena gelak lagi ni, tak campur kena kutuk dengan peminat. MeriamBuluhFC dah sah kutuk kalau kalah.

"Bodoh! Kecik-kecik tanak mampus!" tambah cuka ngan chili-sos kasi pedih sikit marahnya dalam French. Barang-barang dalam dressing room dah bukan lagi barang, sampah sarap tsunami kot.

Pat Rice segera menyelamatkan suasana. "Dah-dah la tu Boss, dak-dak tu dah nangis dah.. 2nd half dah nak start dah ni."

Cakap banyak takde, Wenger terus keluar dari dressing room. Sekor-sekor player pun tak dipandangnya.

"Liverpool tu bukan kuat sangat"

Suara kecil keluar dari hujung dressing room. Semua mata menoleh serentak. Ade cool tenung mereka-mereka kembali.

"WTF?!", Gallas tembak.."Ko ingat senang ke nak kalahkan diorang?!"

Dressing room panas.. Aura-aura semakin tinggi.. Belang-tarung mula kelihatan..

"Ko nak bet?!" Ade balas balik.. Hitam muka Gallas terus jadi merah. Telinganya panas. Pantang memember ajak betting.

Budak-budak lain geleng kepala.. Sial boleh lagi betting di-ambang kekalahan.

Ade senyum.. "Aku bet kalau kita main 10 orang pun kita takkan kalah"

Semua tengok Ade. Pale otak masing-masing mula pening pikir kalau-kalau Ade buat kerja gila. Nombor jersinya sudah ada dalam buku rekod ref, tinggal masa untuk di-blacklist-kan.

"Kalau kita menang aku lari bogel satu London" cabar Ade..

Pemain-pemain lain tersenyum. Sekor-sekor terbayang Ade lari bogel dalam sejuk kota London. Mau muntah makcik-makcik yang pegi shopping Christmas. Semangat sekor-sekor naik balik. Sorakan mula kedengaran.

2nd Half mula.

17 minit kemudian Adebayor kena buang.

Liverpool ketandusan idea. 11 lawan 10 macam 11 lawan 14. Sekali-sekala je dapat mendebarkan Arsenal. Buntu mereka memikir dari mana player Arsenal dapat semangat.

Full Time. Seri 1-1.
Player-player Arsenal tak puas hati. Menang tadi boleh tengok Ade lari bogel free.

*Rekaan semata-mata. Tapi kalau betul best jugak.

*P/s: Nampak sangat Arsenal kuat. Kalau main 11 orang 2nd Half tu confirm menang. Haha.

serius-serius ayam

bro: diorang bukan tak paham!
bro: orang keje ni letih dia lain.
bro: bukan macam letih main futsal.
aku: betul
bro: letih main futsal letih physical je.. letih keje ni 'mind' kita yang letih.
aku: mm!!
bro: tu yang aku asyik nak marah je kat gf aku tu.
aku:haha
bro: kalau gf dekat takpe.. ni gf pun jauh.
bro: kalau nak ikut hati, mau aku maki hamun client aku tadi..
aku: client kot bro
bro: tu la.. tadi aku perli perli je.. tu pun aku senyum-senyum lagi.. kalau tak dah lama kuar maki hamun
bro: hey!!!!! aku kan..
aku: lex bro lex..
bro: jom cari gym.
aku: malam ni?
bro: ye la!
aku: nampak sangat tension
bro: ....
bro: takpun cari ari sabtu ni
aku: sorry bro.. ada hal
bro: ko nak gi mana?
aku:(senyum)
bro: cari malam ni la
aku: jom
...
...selepas beberapa minit pusing-pusing kawasan perumahan

bro: ko tengok tu mamat 3 orang yang lepak tu.. macam baru balik dari gym je
aku: apa lagi.. aku stop ko gi tanya
bro: takpe.. kita jalan depan dlu...
aku:(pusing masuk simpang)
aku: manade gym kat sini..
aku: U-turn aah
bro: ko tengok badan brader tu.. huuuu!!!
aku: ko turun la tanya.. kata nak join gym .. leh wat member
bro: tanak aku.. segan la..
aku: badan besar takkan tade brani kot
bro: aku ni pemalu orang nya
aku: eh.. tanya laki ko tak malu.. tanya girl ko cepat..
bro: tu lain..
aku: (masuk kiri.. berenti jap tengok keta depan blakang, u-turn)
bro: apa yang ko wat ni..
aku: parking.
bro: ko nak gi mana?
aku: dah sampai nak gi mana lagi. balik la.
bro: ko tengok tu.. baca banner tu.. aku tak nampak sangat
aku: gym rakyat.. jalan *tut* murni
bro: katne tu?
aku: kat sini-sini kot..
aku: ko naik la moto esok gi tengok-tengok
bro: weekend ni aku gi usha
aku: ko join dulu.. pastu nanti aku join
bro: aku nak kasi naik sikit-sikit je..
bro: dapat cam vin diesel tu pun jadi la
aku: aku pun...
aku: kasi naik cam brad pitt pun lawa gak..
bro: ...

*Conversation yang berlangsung dalam keta aku masa balik lepak. Topik yang pada mulanya hangat tiba-tiba bertukar topik. Padahal topik gym sudah 2 bulan ditinggalkan dan tiada effect langsung pada perut dan lengan kedua-dua character di-atas. Dua bulan kemudian dari tarikh conversation ni..Vin Diesel dan Brad Pitt bersara sebab tak boleh cari makan.

intro

meriam buluh - Sejenis alat permainan(home-made) yang biasanya dimainkan semasa ramadhan dan sewaktu dengannya. Biasanya diakhiri dengan tangisan-tangisan mak bapak setelah melihat pemain-pemain kehilangan jari jemari mahupun kaki atau tangan masing-masing.

meriambuluh (definasi aku) - Pasukan bola paling aku minat sebab manager dia cool dan sebab banyak pemain-pemain muda yang best-best lagi hensem, tapi banyak buat aku pening dan sakit hati sebab semuanya main passing cantik depan goal sampai tanak score; Arsenal.

meriambuluhfc.blogspot.com - Bukan semua pasal team bola yang buat aku pening. Tercipta masa aku main fantasyfootball dan selalu digunakan masa bermain CS dan sebagainya.

saya, aku, kami - Anak, abang, rakyat jelata, peminat meriambuluh, tukang check server and pasang switch, member-member, minat main bola/futsal tapi malas nak pegi main.

* disclaimer :
-blog ini tidak ada kena mengena dengan sindikit menjual karbait lampu pelita untuk meriam buluh dan tidak ada kaitan langsung dengan menjual mercun-mercun dan sebagainya.
-pemilik blog memang tidak pernah terlibat dalam aktiviti pembakaran meriam buluh walaupun tidak dinafikan pernah menyalakan mercun padi.
-pemilik blog tidak akan bertanggung jawab terhadap sebarang kecerderaan, kehilangan, kesakithatian dan sebagainya kesan daripada blog terbabit.